


English Lesson

by Anart617



Category: Bendy and the Ink Machine
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, Henry has an aneurysm, Swearing, it's the essence of this story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21784954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anart617/pseuds/Anart617
Summary: In which Bendy learns a new word, and asks what it means. WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE IS USED IN THIS STORY. IF YOU'RE OFFENDED BY THIS THEN GO TO ANOTHER STORY. IF NOT, THEN YOU'VE GOT A TERRIBLE TASTE IN HUMOR.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	English Lesson

**Author's Note:**

> So this popped into my head and I wrote it because why not? It was too random and funny to pass up. And it's dumb, too. But I hope you like it anyways. ^_^

"Henry? What's fuck?"

The coffee mug Henry was holding tilted forward, splashing the hot beverage across the front of his crisp white work shirt, while he simultaneously spat out the slightly less hot liquid from his mouth in a glorious routine of comedy. He hissed in pain, doing everything in his power not to swear as he blinked down through teary eyes at the doe-eyed, innocent demon looking up at him.

"Where'd you hear that?" he gasped out.

"From Ink," Bendy explained simply, referring to his taller, more sinister counterpart, The Ink Demon. "He said somethin' usin' that word--I forget what now--but he said 'fuck' and I asked him what that meant, and then he just looked at me and chuckled and said, 'Why don't you ask Henry?' And so here I am!"

Damn that Ink Demon! He was always causing trouble--not the way that Bendy did, with his usual, harmless pranks. He was always trying to corrupt the latter into being more like him, to partake in more destructive behavior and activities. And now he was teaching him how to swear.

"I'll have to have a talk with him later," Henry muttered to himself. To Bendy he said, "Bendy, don't ever use that word. It's an adult word, not meant for a cartoon to use."

"Oh, you mean one of those swears? The ones they used to censor out in the cartoons?"

"Exactly!" Henry grinned, then grimaced as the coffee soaked through his shirt and touched his skin. It wasn't piping hot, but it still hurt. "Look, just don't repeat that word, please. It doesn't matter if Ink uses it, or Wally, or heck, if even I use it. That's never a word you should use."

"Why not?" Bendy frowned, planting his hands on his hips. "I'm not a kid. I'm a cartoon, sure, but I'm over thirty years old! I should be allowed to use words like fu--"

"Don't say it!" Henry warned him.

Bendy sighed exaggeratedly. "Fine," he said, turning around. "If you won't tell me then I'll ask someone who will!"

As he marched off, Henry hoped no one would be dumb enough to tell him. But he'd worry about that later. For now, he had to find a clean shirt, and hope he didn't run into anyone in the halls before then.

"Heya Henry," said Wally Franks from a few doors down.

"Shi--"

…

"Joey, what's fuck?"

Joey Drew started sweating bullets. Just where in Satan's name had Bendy learned such language? Then it hit him. Ink. Barely suppressing a groan he asked Bendy, "Did you ask Henry already?"

"Yep!"

"What did he say?"

"That I shouldn't know. It's not my place as a cartoon to use such language," Bendy grumbled, crossing his arms. "But I wanna know! I just wanna know what it means."

"If Henry said no, then that means no." No way was Joey going to get involved in this, or be forced into a parental role. He didn't have the time for such antics.

Nor, admittedly, was he any good at it. Not like Henry was. So usually he just let Henry get involved with the little demon and stay holed up in his office safe from any trouble.

Yet here he was now.

Bendy stomped his foot in frustration. "I wanna know! Tell me!"

"Henry said no and that means no!" Joey said, growing frustrated. "Now leave! You're melting all over my office floor."

"What's so bad about me swearin'? I'm no kid!"

"And you're clearly no adult either, you act like a kid so it's only right that you are treated like one."

"...I take it this is a bad time?"

The two of them swiveled their heads at the exact same time, looking towards the door to see Norman Polk standing in the doorway, staring awkwardly in at them. It was only then that they realized they were almost literally butting heads, their faces inches apart. They immediately shot away from each other, Joey brushing off his vest and Bendy distractedly fixing his bowtie.

"That was nothing," Joey said quickly.

"Uh-huh. Look, Sammy's raising up a storm in the music department, says he's gonna get your ass sued. I suggest you calm him down before he rallies half the studio into overthrowing you."

Joey rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to scoff, but Bendy interrupted. "Sammy! He'll help me! Thanks Norman, you're a real pal!"

Then there was a loud zoom and a blur of black, and the little nuisance was gone.

Norman turned to Joey, one eyebrow raised. "D'you think...?"

"I don't care," Joey said, taking a bottle of whiskey from his secret stash and downing the whole thing.

...

It was easy to find the Music Department: just follow the screams of rage. Sammy was standing on the podium before the orchestra and band, waving his arms about and ranting on and on about Joey and sheep and yada-yada-yada, Bendy was already bored just looking at him.

"Hey Sammy," he said from right beside him.

"Gah!" Sammy fell off the podium and the whole room fell quiet, wondering if he was dead. Then he pulled himself up, gasping for air, and everyone groaned in disappointment.

"What the fuck, Bendy?" Sammy hissed between his teeth. To his bemusement, Bendy's grin just broadened.

"Aha! I knew you were the man I wanted to see. C'mon, you're gonna teach me somethin'!"

And he quite literally dragged the conductor out of the room, the other members of his department silently watching and doing nothing to help him. Sammy vowed to make everyone pay.

When they were alone in Sammy's sanctuary, Bendy turned to him. "What does fuck mean?"

"I thought you already knew," Sammy said drily, though he was actually surprised. Even if Bendy was a cartoon, how had he not known what the word meant, when he himself was constantly swearing? Then again, Bendy was never really around the Music Department, and didn't seem to particularly like Sammy. The feeling was rather mutual.

"No, and it's frustratin' me. If Ink knows it then why can't I know it?! He's a cartoon too! Technically."

Ah, so that was the issue. While a part of Sammy wanted to see the look on Henry's face when Bendy found out what the word meant, Sammy also knew it would be unwise to invoke Henry's wrath. As the saying goes, one of the three things to fear is the wrath of a gentle man. And Henry's wrath...Sammy shuddered, recalling the one time the man had gotten drunk and drilled into Joey. Then he remembered that Joey was the victim, and he smirked. Happy memories.

He answered Bendy. "Henry said no, didn't he?"

"Yeah, and so did Joey. But you won't right?"

"Nope."

Bendy scowled. "You're no fun."

"So I've been told. Now will you stop holding me captive so I can go and...he's gone." Damn demon hadn't even stayed to let him finish his sentence.

...

Hours later, Bendy found Wally smoking a pipe and leaning against the wall. When Bendy asked his now infamous question, Wally grimaced. "I don't know, Bendy."

"C'mon! You're my best friend besides Boris. You can just tell me in secret."

"I don't wanna betray Henry's trust. Plus, I don't want to corrupt your innocence."

"But I'm a demon! Demons don't have innocence!" Bendy protested.

"You do!" Wally retaliated, swinging his arms around. "You have shiploads of innocence! And I'm not ruining that!"

"...What if I do the puppy eyes?"

"God, no." Bendy did the puppy eyes almost as good as Boris. Wally could never resist them.

"I'll do it," Bendy threatened.

"Well I'm blind now," said Wally, closing his eyes, "so good luck with that."

But you know how the longer you keep your eyes closed and you're aware of it, the more they itch to open? He only lasted a few minutes before his eyes unwillingly opened and he found himself staring into Bendy's huge, pie cut eyes, and he began babbling everything he knew.

...

"Henry! I know where babies come from!"

Henry stared as the demon raced towards him. "What do you mean?" Henry asked slowly.

"Wally told me! He couldn't resist my puppy eyes. He said that fuck is when two people--not necessarily a man and a woman, it can be a man and a man or a woman and a woman--have sex. Well I didn't know what sex was, and so he told me. And now I know how babies are made!"

Henry's eye began to twitch. "I...see."

"Er. Henry, are you okay?" Bendy asked uncertainly.

"I'm going to kill him."

"Wally?!" Bendy yelled, alarmed.

"No, Ink."

He stormed down the halls until he found the lanky demon lounging on a couch half-asleep. Ink looked up with a snort, surprised to see Henry looming over him. "Why hello old man, what're you--"

Henry punched him, shutting him up, and then continued to pummel him with inhuman strength.

"This is the second best day of my life," Sammy said, showing up from nowhere beside Bendy to film the whole thing.

"I should fire you," said Joey.

Then they were both beat up by Henry. Thankfully he calmed down before getting to Wally, who he decided was an innocent victim in all of this, having been tricked by Bendy's "innocence". And so Bendy was grounded for a month.

That turned out to be a big mistake, as Bendy shared a room with Boris, and a wall with Alice Angel. And he told them at night when everyone but Henry and Joey, who were quarreling like lovers in the latter's office, had left, and there was no else to hear them...

"Hey guys. Wanna know what fuck means?"

**Author's Note:**

> So it kinda derailed towards the end but it wasn't meant to be taken seriously. Hope you guys enjoyed this crappy one shot!


End file.
